maximalminimality

You are walking down a street.

Suddenly you notice someone.

"Hey, I know that person."

"Hmm, what was his name again?"

"Aha! I remember! He is ________"

"Should I say hi? Or wave?"

"But, I'm not exactly very close to him."

"He might think, 'Why in the world is this weird guy waving at me?'"

Suddenly he stares at you.

"Crap! I think he saw me. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Pretend not to notice him? Smile at him and wave? Walk in the opposite direction?"

"I know! I'll just wait for him to greet me and I'll do the same!"

Both walks closer.

"He hasn't noticed me yet."

Both pass each other.

"Is it safe to turn around yet? Better walk a little further just in case."

Walks some more before turning around. He isn't looking back. You turn around again.

"I guess he can't remember me anyway."

...

...

...

The other guy turns around.

"Shit, he doesn't remember me!"

The above scenario is a VERY COMMON situation many of us have already or will come across. If you are not aware of why it happens, you might feel naturally awkward. Be reminded that this is perfectly NORMAL and it happens more often than we think it will.

The truth is this:


Thus, both parties just ignore each other and start wondering why the other person is snobby/unfriendly/selfish/insert other forms of negative adjectives. Malaysians call it the "tidak-apa syndrome". Psychologists call it diffusion of responsibility and the fundamental attribution error. Chinese people call it "give face/bei min (my chinese suxxor)".

This doesn't mean that we can't do anything about it. It still boils down to a matter of choice. When you see someone you know by name, just say hi. I know it can sometimes be awkward (especially when they don't answer back or worse, give you the "who the %&#@ are you?" look), you'll be doing a favor to make this world a better place to live in.